Role Models Required!!!

"Out" is the term used to distinguish men who decided to reveal their sexual orientation to family and friends. There are a number of factors affecting the decision taken by a man to be "out" to the society. The most important is the belief in self and being comfortable with his sexuality. Being self reliant is another factor which affects the decision. Ask me, I am still not "out" to my family, though a couple of my friends are aware of my orientation. Why I am not "out" to my family? Because I know that my family will not be able to understand the fact that being gay is not un-natural. I can’t see the future but I understand that a couple of years after my revelation are not going to be good. So will I ever reveal my sexuality to my parents? I will try not to. Because I don’t want to put them through mental trauma at this age. But that does not translate into that I will give in to marry to a lady. I have been a rebel all my life. So they understand that if I am determined not to marry, I will not.

I don’t believe in wearing the gay badge on my chest. Sexual orientation is one facet of my personality and it does not define my personality. My sexuality or for that matter any individual’s sexual orientation is a private matter and what one does behind the closed doors need not to be discussed in public. So what’s the need for me or for other homosexual men to declare to the world about their sexuality? The revelation should be limited to close friends who are evolved enough to understand that being homosexual in orientation is natural and normal.

There is a strong need to reveal our sexual orientation. So that when we find out love interest, we can confidentaly bring it out to our friends with straight orientation. So that we can sit with ease in a pub on any given day and can share good laugh with other friends without bothering about what are we discussing. So that we don't manipulate every second sentence we say about our personal lives. So that we can have a social life. So that we dont have to fight with our conscience all our lives. So that we don't lead a dual life. So that being homosexual is not considered as a stigma at least.

Bobby Darling is a good example to cite here. Bobby belongs to that small percentage of people – irrespective of sexuality - who love to live life in the flamboyant style. I respect his boldness but he is a man with little brains and uses his flashy ways to portrait homosexual men in India which is completely an untrue / incomplete picture. Homosexuals are being typecast as feminine in their conduct and behaviour. Men who are selfish, morally corrupt men always involved in sexual pleasures, men with no social accountability leading an aimless life. This is an incomplete picture. The facts are true but can not represent the gay society in India as a whole. What is true is that there is a small fraction of homosexual men who lead an aimless life, they do not have moral values, they are selfish but isn’t that true in case of straight men as well. Rapes, robberies, murders, criminal cases represent this faction of society irrespective of sexual orientation. Using these statements as a tool against homosexuality is what causing the damage.

What is hidden is that faction of homosexual men who have decided to remain behind the closed doors. Men who have reached the top echelons in their careers. Men who have made a mark in the society through their social accountability and who have done distinguished work in their respective fields of work. These are the men who should come out to the society and become the role models for other homosexual men. The homosexual society in India is lacking role models and the flamboyant men from fashion fraternity, page three crowds, socialite circle and other media are being copied and copied and copied…

I have come across men who have been instrumental bringing key changes in their respective fields. Homosexual men are in Government services till the level of civil servants. Homosexual men are across industries from entry level executives to the CEOs, CFOs, and partners. These men have been living a dual life all through out. The higher they reached in their careers, the more they gained trust, respect and created a place for themselves where their voices are being heard. Well, it’s a matter of personal choice, as I said earlier, why I should shout about my sexuality considering it is my personal affair. Somewhere this mindset needs to be changed. ..

What's your take on it?